Pride

In 2019, it was the first time Michaela was fully out at our local Pride. She glowed because she was herself so authentically that radiated joy.  That was the last Pride we had together.

In 2020, it was covid so no pride, but she died right about Pride time that year. It was actually 366 days later since the last day of 2019 Pride festival here in Grand Junction that she died.

There were so many beautiful and significant moments from Pride in 2019. One special moment is when Michaela came out to her bestie.  See we were going to the White Party. (Side note: I just found out the history behind the White Party this year.) Anyway, Michaela, who was not out to her best friend, received a text from her bestie saying she was going to the white party and wondered if we were going. She knew we went to LGBTQ stuff, but I am not sure she ever knew that both M and I fell under the umbrella. I think she assumed that we were allies as we always have supported marginalized people - her bestie does too.

Michaela instantly had anxiety and was going to change what she was wearing. We sat down talked. I asked what her fears were incoming out to her bestie.  Everything she brought up, I said so has she ever acted that way before? We all know how irrational fear can be so because we both knew her bestie had a big non-judgmental compassionate heart, I knew we could trust her to act with her heart in hearing this news.

We saw her bestie get in line and we got in line behind her. When her bestie turned around, I said, “May I introduce you to Michaela? My love is transgender.” Her bestie squealed with delight and threw her arms around Michaela and hugged the ever loving shit out of her. That moment made them closer than they had before. She lead Michaela around introducing her to all her friends. It was such a big significant night. Such a beautiful memory.

Pride restarted in 2021 and I couldn’t go. I couldn’t go because the thought of being there without her hurt too much. My grief just was so much that I couldn’t go. I went a two pride events for the first time since 2019 in 2024. I hadn’t been able to do the white party though until this year.

I messaged Michaela’s bestie to tell her I was thinking of that night from 2019. I was able to go because I had a close group of friends around me. I made glow in the dark bracelets for us and to share with strangers. I stayed a few hours, had a lovely time dancing in my chair, came home, and cried. I talked to my beloved as I do all the time and wished she had been there to enjoy another Grand Junction Pride.

I don’t think a Pride will top 2019’s Pride, but I know I will always think of her when I go to Pride.  I know she would be happy I am celebrating the history of queer people and all we have had to do to be where we are today.