Grand Valley Mermaids

In the spring of 2003, I moved from Ohio to Colorado. I was nervous about driving over the mountain passes on I-70 so Michaela met me in Wyoming to bring me down through to the western side of Colorado to Grand Junction. This was just when cell phones were starting to be normal, but plans were limited. I didn’t have one. Michaela wanted to keep in touch while I followed her from Wyoming to Colorado so she bought walkie talkies. She joked that someday we would need codenames to use like they use with CB radios.

Fast forward a few years, we live in an area evaporated cooler are normal to keep places comfortable during the hot summer months. It is something that gets drained, and turned off before it freezes in the fall and gets cleaned up, and water hooked back up to it when it starts getting hot. Michaela decided that the walkie talkies would be good when she would do that maintenance.  She could use the walkie talkies to tell me what tools she needed. One year while she was on the roof and needing a tool, she said “Mermaid! Mermaid, I need…” whatever the part was she needed. I giggled as the nickname came through the walkie talkie. She had called me that before as I am really drawn to water, sea creatures as well as the mythical creature of the mermaid.

Present time - there is a local place that is doing a themed night called Grand Valley Mermaids. It was a whole event with vendors, tarot readings, a photo booth, themed drinks, and special cookies - all centered around two artists creations. Lily Cain did art of River Mermaids representing our area and Darc Moon did mala bracelets to match each mermaid.

Over the last few weeks every time I saw a post about it, I thought that looks like a fun night and I immediately felt sad at the same time. It wasn’t just sad, it was a deep sinking sadness.  Now why I didn’t put 2 and 2 together to get 4 - I don’t know, but it took me actually journaling today to realize why. Although I thought of reaching out to a couple friends I knew would enjoy it to see if we all would want to go together - I didn’t. I didn’t because a night like tonight would have been a perfect date night with Michaela as I was her mermaid. I am sure I would have ended up in tears.

5 years in on grieving and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. I couldn’t go to this event that sounds like a me thing because it would have caused tears there in public place. Missing my person and knowing how excited she would have been to take me there and experience it with me.

It made me think of one of my top 5 days with Michaela that just came up in my memories as it was August 12, 2017. We were in Denver, and went to explore and window shopping downtown, but we got caught in a rain storm. We ran down the street holding hands, heading to the Starbucks to seek cover. The rain had soaked us, but we laughed, kissed, and just had the biggest smiles as we were having such a good day even as the rain poured down. The rain didn’t ruin this mermaid’s day. M and I were overjoyed to play in the rain.

I miss that we don’t get to have more days together to remind me I was her mermaid.

She used to send this gif to me. She would send it to tell me she loves me, to tell me she would there when I was having a bad day, and to remind me I was her mermaid. It always made me feel loved when I saw it pop up on my texts.