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Grief & Gravity Blogging to express and process my grief. My struggles and joys as I find my way through life without my love. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1623178429884-NOBMZ44S1GA4714JMMI3/darbymichaelapride.JPG STARDUST AND GRAVITY - Darby & Michaela Meet myself and my love, Michaela. My beautiful love ended her battle with cancer on June 24. 2020. Learn more about her and I. https://www.stardustandgravity.com/contact daily 0.75 2021-06-09 https://www.stardustandgravity.com/about daily 0.75 2021-06-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1623181250915-1C836TEYSKKYZ69QAPFP/michaelarainbow.JPG About Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1600546512160-SMH0CQA8OTW91K7FJFVE/IMG_6939.jpg About Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1623181662514-K83EKS38MA1I8A6JK4UP/darbymichaelapotter.JPG About Us https://www.stardustandgravity.com/michaela1 daily 0.75 2020-09-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1601426844997-T99CDQSVTP1ADL6QDKEN/IMG_9309.JPG Michaela1 - My Butterfly Some of you are finding this out here and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that you didn’t know M more completely. M came out to me as transgender in 2016. Although I wasn’t told until then, I had always known unconsciously from the moment we met. M felt like a woman trapped in a male body. It made sense to me and it didn’t change the amazing person I viewed her to be. Knowing her as her authentic self actually deepened my love for her. M lived her entire life feeling uncomfortable and not right, but bravely decided at 46 years young, to traverse this sometimes-cruel world to be true to herself. I feel blessed to have witnessed her exploration and the start of making her physical outside match the person she had always been inside. In January 2019, she decided to transition to a female name and pronouns. Keeping her name close to what her parents gave her, she decided on Michaela. It was a beautiful journey and absolutely amazing to see her bravely telling her friends and family. She preferred telling people in person. So, if you are finding this out here, please know it wasn’t intended to be a slight. The chance simply hadn’t presented itself. Last year, at this time, we celebrated Pride. I’d never seen her happier than I did that week. She was beautiful, so incredibly beautiful! It breaks my heart that this beautiful person didn’t get to share that with all of you before the cancer consumed her. I am so grateful for the enormous amount of acceptance, love and support her friends and family gave her. She was stunned and overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and welcoming as she shared. She often teared up realizing how many people loved her and received her unconditionally for who she is. I personally want to thank you. You enriched her life through your supportive and open hearts. You made it easier for her to live her most authentic life. Thank you for all you did to welcome my beautiful Michaela. If anyone has questions, please feel free to drop me a message on Facebook. It might take me a few days to answer, but Michaela was kind and generous with her life and her experiences. If you have negative emotions or thoughts about Michaela when reading this, I would ask you turn inward. Please try to understand why someone else living a loving authentic life is making you uncomfortable and try see this as an opportunity to grow. https://www.stardustandgravity.com/michaela2 daily 0.75 2020-09-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1601427873276-HJH8Q2YQJ4QBS4FC7PH1/IMG_6939.JPG Michaela2 - Flying Free I am missing my beautiful brave partner, Michaela. I miss her kind and generous heart. I miss the woman who fought for people who were being mistreated, advocating for the people who need someone to stand up for them. I miss her profound voice of wisdom and her heart. She had an amazing capacity for openness, compassion, acceptance and understanding. She loved to talk and was also a writer. She was one of the most articulate people I’ve known. She loved expressing herself with the outcome of helping others. She looked beyond what people see on the outside and delved into the heart of every person. She loved to tell their story. Through her work, Michaela conveyed a more complete picture of who people are. Even in daily life, Michaela pointed out that the seemingly angry person behind us in the checkout line is more multifaceted than the emotion we see in that moment. She always said, “there is always a bigger story we aren’t seeing.” We are all made up of stories that require our grace and extend far beyond the surface. Like an iceberg, there is so much more below the surface that makes the whole person. This concept defines why Michaela was a defender in her heart. Michaela loved her work and all of the amazing people who fought the good fight alongside her. She received late night texts, phone calls and emails asking “please can you help me...” express this message, story, idea or whatever was needed. She never wanted to say no to anyone because she knew the calls meant there was someone somewhere needing help. One small matter in the justice system can set off a chain reaction- a domino effect, if you will. Michaela did everything she could to prevent the domino from falling, because she knew its potential to create more problems for the client. She saw the defendant facing pain, regret, loss, fear, and every emotion overwhelming them. We traveled across the USA gathering her client’s stories. I count myself fortunate to have been able to work by her side on so many cases. It was such a privilege to be trusted with that work. We both felt honored to record such deeply personal stories. There are client stories I think about every day, because the nature of Michaela’s work got under our skin. It planted itself in our hearts. Michaela felt grateful to work with an enormously compassionate community. She was inspired by her brilliant colleagues and wanted to be right beside them giving it all her effort. Thank you to the amazing defender community for recognizing her talents and allowing her to help the clients. It was deeply fulfilling work for her. Once she came out as transgender and was getting to know the local LGBTQ community, I saw that same aspect of her wanting to support that community. Person after person coming up to her thanking her for the kind, generous heart and words that helped and encouraged them along their journey. She never turned away anyone needing to talk, needing a hug, needing someone to just sit and hold that space with them. She helped people get through their dark nights of the soul. Michaela and I were strong advocates of being supportive and accepting of all people. She inspired me to be better person. Michaela made it easy for me to be me. We didn’t always have an easy relationship. We had struggles and ups and downs like most couples, but one thing we knew is that we built a good foundation and we didn’t give up on each other. Our relationship foundation was based on respect, communication, trust, and love. As the relationship deepened it made that foundation even stronger. Every day was about giving each other: honesty, vulnerability, openness, acceptance, and forgiveness. We invested in each other as individuals as well as a couple. I will brag and say we had an extraordinary relationship. As I said we struggled, but we always worked together to get through it. We always talked out our differences and worked to resolve them. We never give up on each other. Besides her incredible compassion, Michaela also loved to take photos of our beautiful state of Colorado as well as other trips we made. She enjoyed road trips, board games, having coffee with friends, music, writing poetry, astronomy, and Star Wars movies. She was also passionate about politics, an aspect of wanting to help people. Michaela liked to bike, and eat good food. She loved the colors pink and blue, butterflies, and kitty cats. She loved her family and friends. Michaela was the baby in the family just turning 50 a week after being diagnosed a second time with cancer. She is survived by her older sister and brother, their spouses, three nieces and two nephews along with their significant others, and two children. Michaela’s parents are deceased. Her dad died a little over a month before Michaela passed. Her mom passed away about a year and half ago. Michaela’s journey in this world was one of growing and evolving herself and living to speak out for those who need a champion. She touched every life she came in contact with in her unique and amazing way. She will be deeply missed, and yet, those of us who knew her best, will always carry her in our hearts. Every time we speak out for those in need, we emulate her life and bring her memory-joy. The world was truly a better place with Michaela in it and we, better people for having known her. https://www.stardustandgravity.com/darby1 daily 0.75 2024-07-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/79bf6676-e0dc-4a35-a673-ddade7d0f763/darbycaseyboots.jpg Darby1 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/38ad3600-dd43-40f1-b318-a19705093b63/darbycaseybreakheart.jpg Darby1 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/d62430d2-31bd-4932-a4c3-4b066bcd9810/darbycaseyleap.jpg Darby1 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/298f0384-d423-4996-92ee-8926822b1f2e/darbycaseycrying.jpg Darby1 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/18ab84b8-cfb6-41e1-b6ca-008b3cfc84cf/darbycaseyheart.jpg Darby1 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/f65be264-12b2-49f1-adf7-4a3179d4decf/darbycaseybed.jpg Darby1 https://www.stardustandgravity.com/celebration daily 0.75 2022-09-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1626310796595-BI0F8TTQQ2OG7OWKKT38/IMG_9235.jpeg celebration https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f5d971d6fa1e85d82575974/1626287910289-IITSBRTTEJBQUUN65IG9/IMG_9236.jpeg celebration https://www.stardustandgravity.com/pdf daily 0.75 2021-08-07